Holy Crap, What the Hell!
by oONightmareOo
Summary: Hinata is asked to try out a game that her family and other families joined together to create. On her first day of school at Konoha High. Where she already has an 'enemy' who really couldn't care about her existence. HinaAka, rated for cussing/themes.
1. The Game

I stared at my father in disbelief. There is no way that he would think that I would play _that!_ He stared at me impassively and with a little pleading in there. Somewhere. "Please, Hinata. This is only a trial run and the Uzumakis and the Uchihas are also asking their children to play it. You know how important this is. This is the first time that the Uchihas, Hyuugas, and Uzumakis ever agreed to do something together and actually got along while doing it. I've already asked Neji to do it but he said that he doesn't have time to do it and Hanabi is agreeing to do it also. So please do this for me." He said stoically, as if he can't believe that he has to _ask_ for me to do something for him. That he is saying '_please_'. I looked down at the game that was about to go out to the world in a month, looking at the Shuriken and Kunai with the words '_Ultimate Ninja_' on the front in big orange letters. I looked back at my father's slightly pleading face and sighed before I nodded. He got a relieved expression before he went back to his paperwork, telling me that he was done speaking with me with his actions.

I walked out of his office before I put the game in my room and went back to getting ready for my first day of school in Konoha. I had been sent to an advanced school up in Ame before I was forced to come back down to Konoha because Hanabi and father missed me and I was too smart for that advanced school. Now I'm going to a regular school because of the fact that the teachers thought that I should make friends and possibly have a normal life. I had almost laughed at them, almost because I was too shy to do so. There was no way I would laugh at someone right to their faces! The only reason I felt the need to laugh was because of a Hyuuga never had a normal life. They were always put to the center of attention and laughed at immediately if they made a tiny mistake. I never told anyone my last name so they never paid any attention to me so I was always in the shadows. Here, that wouldn't work because Neji was going to be my guide because my father had requested it of him. Neji always wanted to be recognized as a family member so he would do that just because of that. He hated me because of how I acted, how I was an improper Hyuuga, which I shouldn't be the Hyuuga heiress because of how I don't act like one.

I sighed as I walked out of the mansion, bumping into somebody almost immediately after I walked out of the gate. I cried out as I fell to the ground and laughter came from four different directions and people. "Nice Deidara, you made a Hyuuga ungraceful." A male voice came from a spot that there was laughter a moment before. I looked up to see a group of nine males and one female, the girl staring at me semi-sympathetically but mostly impassively. The males were uncaring, laughing, or just staring at me. I blushed and stood up, bowing.

"I-I'm sorry!" I yelped out before I ran off, fixing the zipper on my jacket, before I yelped again. Why, you ask? A hand had grabbed my hood, pulling me back some. I turned back to see that it was Neji and that he was glaring at me. "N-N-Neji-nii." I muttered bowing my head and accepting anything he threw at me.

"You're a disgrace to the Hyuuga clan." He said calmly but with an angry tone in his voice. "You should be kicked out of it but Hiashi is too kind for that. He pities you and believes that you will change. He only keeps you around because you look like your mother." He said before he walked off in the direction of school, leaving me with my head bowed and silently crying. I knew that every word that he spoke was true, more so than he knew. I adjusted the strap of my bag and quietly walked behind him, my gaze trained on the sidewalk a few millimeters away from his feet. The laughter had stopped when Neji spoke so I just assumed that the group was gone but I was apparently wrong. I was stopped by a hand on top of my head, making me blink in confusion as I was stopped.

"I think we should take Hinata-chan off your hands Neji, if that is okay with you." I heard a stoic voice say from behind me that sounded vaguely familiar. I felt my hair move over my shoulder as if we were in slow motion and my eyes widen in shock as I realized why the voice sounded familiar. It was Uchiha Itachi. My only friend when I lived here before and the only one I never stuttered around. He acted as an older brother to me, even as his younger brother became competitive with him. "And, judging by how you were acting around her, you probably don't care." He said before he grabbed my hand and pulled me off. I was still too shocked to utter a sound so I just stared at the Uchiha I used to know. He had changed some, his eyes no longer the warm midnight black that used to be there, replaced with a black abyss that added mystery to his looks. The stress lines had become more prominent and his black hair longer and fluffy looking. He was wearing a black jacket with silver lined red clouds decorating it at random intervals and a black shirt underneath, jeans as his chosen bottoms.

I glanced at the group to see they were all wearing the same jacket and a shocked expression. A blonde, the one I had bumped into on my way out of the estate, recovered first. "Yo, Itachi! Why are we taking a Hyuuga off of his hands?" Itachi ignored him, leading me further towards the group, pausing only when we reached them. By then I was blushing and confused.

"This is Hyuuga Hinata. Welcome her or make me mad." He said, glaring at everyone in the group.

"I-I-Itachi-kun, I-I don't th-think that y-you should threaten them l-like that." I said, loud enough to be heard but still pretty quietly. He turned to me with a small smile before he poked my forehead with what I had decided to call the 'poke of doom' when I was six because I didn't know what else to call it. I frowned at him and poked him back, but on his arm instead of his forehead. He smirked before he poked me again. I sighed in frustration. "P-please st-stop, I-Itachi-kun. I-I do not appreciate b-b-being poked." I stuttered out, staring at the ground with a slightly annoyed expression but I kept that mostly to myself.

He laughed at me, making others stare at him. "I know, that's why I did that." He smiled warmly at me, his eyes momentarily going back to the warm midnight color they used to be before he stopped smiling and turned back to the group where half were still staring. I hadn't noticed that we were walking this whole time so I looked up and was surprised to see the school right in front of me.

"I-I gotta go, I-I-Itachi-kun." I said quietly before I hurried of f. I didn't like to be stared at and Itachi was frequently stared at by his admirers. And I was getting glared at because he was holding my hand the whole walk there. I looked around for my locker so I could relieve my shoulder of the weight that was on it and found it next to a blonde and a brunette. Both males. They looked at me curiously as I opened up my locker quickly, stuffed my books in there, fixed my jacket, and closed the locker. I started to walk away, giving the duo a kind smile, before I was stopped by the brunette's voice.

"Hinata-chan?" he asked, sounding like he was confused. I looked at him, seeing some familiarity in his face as well as the blonde's.

"K-Kiba-san?" I stuttered out, confused as to why he was talking to me. When I lived here he would torture me to no end, along with Naruto, and he would make fun of me so much. He stopped bothering Naruto when they became friends but he still made fun of me. I blinked a few times before I bowed my head to him and walked away.

"Wait, _that's _Hinata?" I heard the blonde shout and I realized why I recognized his whiskered face. It was Naruto. My former crush, the one who didn't even notice me. I turned around in confusion, looking at both of them curiously.

"What's wr-wrong? I d-d-don't look that m-much d-different, do I?" I asked, concerned that I had suddenly gotten more attention than I wanted. I really hate attention.

"Yeah! You used to be so weird, now you're hot!" Naruto blurted out, making me tilt my head in confusion as he blushed a bright red. My brain registered that he had just complimented my looks and I blushed slightly before I started walking away, turning the corner just to bump into someone _again._ I looked up when I didn't fall and I was met with amber eyes that were surrounded by a dark orange that would be mistaken for red. He was standing next to a girl who looked the same age as him, which makes both of them my superior in this school.

"Watch it, girl." He snapped at me before he pushed me out of his way. I let out a cry of pain when my back hit the lockers.

"Pein, be nicer. She's obviously new and Deidara was talking about a girl with pale eyes and dark purple hair being Itachi's friend. She made him show another emotion other than anger, annoyance, or calm." The blue haired girl said in an informational tone. 'Pein's' eyes turned incredulous, as if he couldn't believe that his friend had told him that. She turned to me with a kind expression that didn't reach her emotionless eyes. "I'm sorry, but would your name happen to be Hyuuga Hinata?" I nodded slightly, scared that she was going to make fun of me or say I'm not worthy of the name Hyuuga, before I pushed off of the lockers and hurried away with my hands clenched inside of my jacket pockets. I glanced at my schedule and saw I had Health with Kakashi, H. I could feel that this class will not go very good for me, just because it was health.

…**..**

_**Sorry that I haven't updated lately, my bro keeps stealing my computer and playing games on it and I'm not allowed to steal it from him. It makes me frown in annoyance just thinking about it. I am working on my TobiDei one right now, being unable to work on it on my mom's comp is a pain in the ass, and it's only on my comp and I'm kinda at a roadblock… heh heh…**_

_**Coming in Peaces,**_

_**Nightmare**_


	2. Game Start

I had no desire to ever go back to school. Not only were first, third, and seventh hour absolutely embarrassing, I kept getting glares or shocked expressions. First hour with Kakashi-sensei I don't ever even want to think about it ever again. Kakashi-sensei was so in detail with his explanations, I'm sure even father would want to faint from embarrassment. Me, however, I did faint… at a new record of thirty seven seconds. Third hour with Jiraiya-sensei in reading wasn't that bad, though Jiraiya-sensei was making strange faces in my direction and he seemed to be writing something while muttering under his breath. Seventh hour was gym with Gai-sensei and the only embarrassing thing about it was that it was a co-ed class and the girls wore extremely short-shorts and tank-tops for the school given gym clothes while the boys were apparently supposed to wear spandex. I had a sneaking suspicion that it was a choice whether you wore the gym uniform or not but since I had no clothes to change into other than this, I had to make do. I kept my jacket on though; I wasn't going to walk around like that. It was too immodest while my jacket covered everything to the middle of my thighs. Though it did look as though I wasn't wearing anything underneath it, I had to make do with what little I had.

I was glad I was back home, and not at school.

I walked into my bedroom, taking a look around to see that things were arranged differently from this morning and it looked as if someone with OCD came through and cleaned it. Everything was set perfectly at a certain angle and I couldn't see a spot of dust anywhere. I went over to the desk to see that whoever had cleaned the room had put the game and the gaming helmet on the desk. I picked up the game case again, flipping it over to read the back. _'99.9 percent realism, meaning that they put a lot of work into making this game absolutely realistic but harmless. Several different races and classes to choose from, you can mix and match to look stylish and become the best player? Hm, maybe one time wouldn't hurt... So all I have to do is fall asleep with the game in my computer and the helmet on? Seems pretty easy…'_ I turned towards where my computer was moved to to see that it was next to my bed now. Father probably thought that there was no way that I wouldn't play the game. Either that, or the maids moved it over there for easy play since they thought I was going to play the game no matter what. Either way, I went over to my bed and put the disc in the computer, keeping the monitor off, and hooked the helmet up to the computer. I set it on my head carefully and lay down comfortably under my covers, closing my eyes and forcing myself to sleep. One of the maids would come get me for dinner when it was done and it was a couple hours before then so I should be alright.

_**Loading game…**_

_** Scanning player…**_

_** Hyuuga, confirmed.**_

__"Welcome to Ultimate Ninja, Hyuuga-san." The voice sounded so real… but I knew it was only a computer. I opened my eyes and turned around, looking straight at the computer system that was designed to welcome players. It looked like a set of twins, one boy and one girl. "Would you like to request anything before we start making the character to match you?" It was the girl who was speaking, her hands behind her back innocently as she smiled at me.

"Um… Wh-what do you m-mean by th-that?" I tilted my head to the side, looking at the NPC's in confusion.

"Would you like to make any special requests? Y'know…" The boy seemed to think for a little, "How about a pet at the start of the game? Or you could ask for a super awesome weapon!" The boy seemed a little too excited for this.

"Or you could ask for a cute outfit. Maybe a more beautiful character?" The girl asked, a thoughtful look on her face. I stared at them in thought. If I can change how I start out in the game, wouldn't that be a little like cheating? "Oh! We can't guarantee that you'll get it, but it helps to make a wish or a goal at the start of a game… right?" The girl smiled at me again, her head tilting to the side.

If that's the case… "Um… Can I… um…" I fidgeted, poking my index fingers together in nervousness. I didn't quite know how to phrase the question. Then I realized… these are not real people. If they aren't real people then they can't judge me. If I don't look like myself when I'm outside of the game, then I can act as I want to as well. No one will think of the Hyuuga name and start watching how I act so I can't bring shame to it… if I look different. I know what I will do now, the first wish tossed to the side even if I really did want a pet fox, and it came out in a rush. "Can you-"

…

…

_**Yeah, I know, I'm sorry, I think it's been a year now since I've looked at this story… I know, I'm horrible… But will this parody help you guys out? If you can guess what it's a parody off of, I'll somehow incorporate whatever you want into Holy Crap, so it's a win win right? You get a free story and then you get to ask for something if you guess it right! Sound like fun? ;)**_

_**Here we go!**_

"Wow! What pretty carvings!" I looked at the little wooden statues in awe, looking at them one by one. "Even the cat!"

"Why hello there, little miss. What did I do to deserve such a lovely lady to come to the front of my house?" I looked up to see a silver haired man smiling at me, a mask covering half his face with the only indication that he was smiling being his upturned eyes. I blushed almost immediately, bowing in apology.

"I'm so sorry! I didn't mean to barge in like this!" I kept my head down until I heard laughter. He seemed somewhat amused.

"It's no worry; I saw you were looking at the carvings. Which one are you?" The man smiled again, motioning to the carvings of the thirteen zodiac animals.

"Um… I'm the dog," I said, pointing at the brown carving before looking at the orange-ish yellow carving down the line. "But I love the cat! I wish I were a Year of the Cat!" The man laughed a little more.

"Well, it seems like you were on your way to school. Your uniform… You go to Konoha high, don't you?" The man seemed to be smiling again. I liked him; he has been smiling a lot so far. "My cousin goes to Konoha high as well, should I introduce you?" A door sliding appeared and I looked up from the man to see black hair and black eyes. I realized a moment later that I was looking at the Prince of my school, Uchiha Sasuke. He stared at me for a bit before realization came to his eyes.

"Why is Hyuuga-san out here?" He seemed genuinely curious about why I was out here and I ducked my head.

"We-well, I was on my way to school of course!" I avoided looking at the Prince.

"Oh, you seem to know each other already. Well, I'm Kakashi Hatake, what's your name little flower?" He held out his hand to shake.

"Hy-Hyuuga Hinata." I met his hand to shake it when he pulled it up to set a kiss on it through his mask. I blinked a few times in shock before the Prince kicked Kakashi-san inside.

…

"Sasuke!" A sudden yell appeared as the roof collapsed above Sasuke and I, letting a blonde haired boy appear. I blinked a few times as I took in the appearance of the new boy who was standing in between Sasuke-san and I, yelling out challenges at the gradually-getting-annoyed Sasuke. Kakashi-san appeared in the doorway looking woefully at his roof as the two exchanged insults. As Kakashi-san, Sasuke-san, and the blonde haired boy were walking out of the doorway, I went to follow only to slip on the wood on the ground. I tried to regain my balance as I fell towards them only to end up falling on all three, causing a large puff of smoke to appear in the hallway. I blinked a few times at the newly found blonde-orange cat, silver dog, and black rat in front of me, staring at me in shock. _'I must be going insane…'_ I thought as I fell forward in a faint.

…

_** Remember, anyone who can guess what the parody was off of correctly! will get the ability to request something (Aside from anything that has to do with the wish she made! That is unchangeable!) but only until the next chapter is out! Surely it'll be easy since I just practically give it away the whole time… that is, if you've actually seen the anime… I'll make a harder one next time! Until then…**_

_** Ja matte ne!**_

_** Nightmare**_


	3. Is This Really A Game?

_** I apologize sincerely to the guests who guessed right; it was indeed Fruits Basket… But I couldn't take your request since you did not add it in to your review so now I feel kind of bad… Hm… Well, here's the next chapter and parody!**_

I blinked as I sat up, rubbing my head after having hit the ground. "That hurt." I whined, feeling my body ache as I stood up carefully. I noticed someone's presence a little too late as they rushed towards me.

"A-are you alright?" Oh, it was a girl. I wonder if my wish actually came true.

I looked up with a smile, blinking slightly to let my eyes adjust to the game's light. "Yeah, I'm fine. Just a little sore." My vision cleared and I saw pink hair, green eyes, and a slight blush on the girl's face. I took a little longer to check who it was only to be shocked to see that it was a girl in my gym class, the one who had spent most of the class period arguing with a blonde girl. I believe her name was Sakura.

"Do you need healing? Or, um, a companion? Um, maybe do you want directions to the nearest town?" She seemed to really want to help me, maybe it wasn't Sakura? "Oh, my name is Cherry Blossom, what's yours?"

"Sunshine." I wiped the dust off of my pants as the pain wore off. "Well, I'll see you later Cherry Blossom." I waved to her as I walked in the direction I had memorized as the main town on the central country when I had been reading through the informational booklet that most all games have. I believe that the central country was given the name 'Fire Country' and in the exact middle of it was a village called Konohagakure, after the city of Konoha that all the families who made it lived in. I believe that the trial game would last for another week and that all the families that were involved were given a game to do the trial run with and some of the families involved would just give the game to a friend or someone who wanted to play it more than them. So there would be a high possibility of no one ever figuring out that it was me who played as Sunshine. I just had to make sure I didn't act as myself during the whole time.

I made it to the village, noticing how everyone who saw me acted strangely, and walked to the store so I could stock up on potions and such so I wouldn't be unable to fight. Every player started out with five thousand gold to begin with but you could carry up to nine hundred and ninety nine million gold pieces if you ever got way up there. Since monsters or enemies don't drop potions and such when you defeat them, only things such as gold pieces, weapons, and upgrading things, you have to go to the store to make sure that you would have health potions and mana potions. "Hey, you! Newbie!" A male voice called out from behind me, causing me to turn after I had gotten my potions. It was a red haired fox demon; he had some pretty upgraded equipment causing me to believe that he has been playing for a while.

"Yeah?" I asked, uncaring.

"You wanna come with my group to go kill some monsters?" He seemed rather excited, to tell the truth. He truly looked as though he wanted me to go kill monsters with him. I looked behind him to see what his group consisted of and I had to question where I had seen them all before. There was the beast who was sitting there with a pet dog, playing with it, and then a human leaning against the wall next to the beast with his eyes closed. Both had brown hair and dark eyes, from what I could tell when the human opened his eyes to look at me disinterestedly. Then there was the elf that had black hair looking out the window, his eyes shining a dark red.

"Why do you want me?"

"He wants to be able to teach someone something, the idiot." The beast laughed from the other side of the room, standing up and walking towards us. "The name's Fang, what's yours?" He held his hand out to shake mine.

"Sunshine." The more I stayed here, the more the avatars seemed familiar. But why? Well, they won't know me so it's perfectly fine.

"I'm not an idiot, dog boy!" The demon growled at Fang, glaring at him for a moment before his attention was back on me. "I'm Kyuubi; over there is Shika and Crow." Shika walked over slowly as Crow ignored Kyuubi's existence. I realized why they looked familiar all of a sudden; they are all classmates of mine. Kyuubi and Crow I wasn't quite sure on whom they were, but Fang was Kiba, he was in three of my classes, and Shika was Shikamaru, he was in my advanced classes. I knew Kiba from a long time ago, of course, but Shikamaru was someone new so I was surprised I even recognized him. Though it wasn't too hard with the hairstyle he had, even with his avatar. "So, you gonna come with us?"

"Ah… sure, why not? You need to collect something to get a job, don't you?" I didn't pay much attention to this in the instruction manual thing from the game container but I knew I had to get ten of something to get a job.

"Wolf fangs, you need ten of them." Crow had come up to the group as well, causing me to jump from his sudden appearance. Who wouldn't when the guy literally appeared out of thin air?

"Let's go kill some wolves then!" Kyuubi grinned, causing me to sigh as I followed the group that was quickly making its way to the forest. This guy seemed to have a little too much energy.

…

_** Again, whoever can guess what it is a parody of, a request will be considered from you and more than likely be incorporated into the fanfic! So please, do guess and request whatever you think it is a parody from and whatever you want! But, again, the wish is not allowed to be changed! It has been set in stone so no amount of begging can make me change it!**_

_**On with the parody!**_

…

"No no no!" I clutched the newspaper, staring at the date. "Not again! It's yesterday again! When will tomorrow come?" I looked over to the window where I could hear shouts of a woman yelling at her husband for cheating on her again. The weather was the same as it was yesterday, the people outside the window were having the same conversations they had yesterday when they passed by the window, the same bird flew past my window with the same flight pattern as yesterday. I turned to the clock to see that it was the same time as it was yesterday when it all happened. "Nothing I can do here. I guess I'll go look for another job today." I sighed as I stood up, fixing the long dress that I wore; the same as the one I wore yesterday. I walked out the door, locking up, before walking out of the apartment building. The same group of kids were outside the building, ready to taunt me with the same song as always.

"Hinata, Hinata, full of bad luck. Looking for a job today, what a dumb and ugly duck!" Must they make the song sound so insulting? I heard the sound of the lizard flying at my head, the thirtieth day in a row that this has happened, and I dodged it easily. "Whoa… she dodged it." I turned to glare at the children, annoyed already that they were doing this _again_. They ran off before I opened my mouth, causing me to turn back around for me to go find a job to apply for. _Let's see. I'll turn the corner here, go down this alleyway, and when I exit it, I will get splashed by a puddle of dirty water then go home for the day and clean up as well as dust off my clock. It'll be the same as yesterday, just like the day before was. _I sighed as I walked into the alleyway. I watched my feet as I walked before the alley became even more shaded than usual. It was unusual and it caused me to look up to find out why. I froze when I saw the gigantic monster staring down at me, before I was suddenly pushed up against the wall by the monster.

"Where is the Innocence?" It growled at me and I almost fainted right then and there. There was a sudden burst of light and the monster was hit, causing it to go further into the alley. I looked off to the side to see a blonde haired boy with whisker like scars on his face, holding his hand up. His eyes were red as he stared at the monster. I only had one thought. _It isn't the same as yesterday! Hooray!_ With this thought in mind, I skipped away happily as the blonde was fighting with the monster. _It's tomorrow! It isn't yesterday anymore! Ah, what a beautiful day! _ I exited the alleyway, suddenly getting splashed by dirty water. I sighed, my good mood gone already. _Time to go home, I guess._ I thought, not realizing that I passed by someone else that wasn't there before. Someone with pink hair, standing next to a building. _Time to go clean my clock._

…

… _**Heh heh… I know, I'm mean to Hinata, giving her that part… But hey, I wasn't any nicer to anyone else… Sakura's and Naruto's parody characters both have some pretty angsty pasts… So, guess and request?**_

_**Thoroughly amused,**_

_**Nightmare**_


End file.
